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How My 4 Year Old Daughter Plays Starcraft

My 4-year old daughter, Sakura, plays StarCraft.

How she plays is… …somewhat unique.

She plays it like it’s SimCity. You know: She focuses on making buildings. The combat part scares her; she calls me over whenever the Zerg attack.

So, I was just working away on Local Names, when I heard this- “Look, dad!”

So here’s what I saw.

She’d found an old beat up rusted crumbling dark building that looked like it had been blown away in an ancient war.

Then she had her SCV’s build 5 Terran Command Centers in a circle around it. (link to pictures of units)

Then she took all her Terran SCV’s, and arranged them in the Command Centers, and then brought along the Marines (“Gimme somethin’ t’ shoot!”) as well.

Then she turned around, and explained to me the following:

They’re having a birthday party! See? They’re having a party for their friend. (She’s pointing at the old rusty broken down building, that’s part of the background scenery.) See? So that she gets better. Because she died. See, she’s sad. Because she died. They’re having a party, so that she gets better. See? Isn’t it fun?! They’re having a birthday party!

I have no idea how to respond to this.

Sakura’s newest saying are:

“SnaAAAAAAKE!” — Metal Gear

“What d’you want?!” — Vulture, StarCraft

“Spread your wings and fly!” — Major Zero, Metal Gear Solid 3

The last, apparently, was spoken by her, in an appropriately dramatic voice, as she lept from a shopping cart onto her mom’s back at a store.

(The quote is in reference to Snake’s HALO jump, allegedly the first ever.)